its thoughts like this that catch my troubled head...

Last night I had dinner with the High Commissioner, CIDA officials and some other interns. It was awesome. Both the High Commissioner (Barbra Richardson) and Head of Development (Dr. Rajani Alexander) are young and brilliant, down to earth women. The High Commissioner was especially interesting to me because she and I were the only Albertans in the room and she happened to have gone to the U of A where her degree focused on English literature and Sociology. So you can imagine that we had a lot to talk about. When I told her that I have an English degree and a strong concentration in sociology, she laughed and asked if I always get asked what I’m going to do with a degree like that and then she smiled and told me I was on the right track. And it was good to hear…not that I have questioned my choice of study. I love both literature and sociology and if I had it all to do again, I would do exactly the same – with perhaps a bit more effort in some papers and maybe I would try harder to actually make it all the way through Beowulf…maybe not. But, back to the High Commissioner! She welcomed us all and told us a little about what she does and encouraged us in our work. And she had this ability to demand our attention and respect in a way that was totally not intimidating. She was eloquent and powerful in a very personal way and I was completely drawn in by her. It made me so hopeful to see her in a position like that and know that she came out of Edmonton years ago in the same position I am. Liberal arts degree in hand, passionate about so many different things that I can’t begin to answer the question, “what do you want to do with your life?”
And I am lucky enough to have a giant cheering section. As Dr. Zinck recently said to me “how many photographers come with their own readymade fan base?” And its true because I have experienced so much encouragement from my family and friends and professors that I have been plagued with the feeling that I have the ability to do anything I set my mind to do. But it was interesting to talk with these women, who don’t know me at all but who see something in me that could have great potential and encourage me in that. And it makes me stop and think that maybe, if these women see it in me, perhaps I need to pay greater attention to the encouragement I have lavished upon me at home because maybe there’s something to it. Maybe it’s not just my mom being my mom, or my English profs being my English profs. Maybe it’s not so much something that is being said just because they love me, but because they really actually see something in me as well, maybe it’s something they’ve seen in me for a while and are getting sick of waiting for me to get up and do something about it. Maybe its time for me to stop waiting for the perfect opportunity to fall into my lap and maybe it’s time to hold my breath and jump in with both feet in blind trust and see where the current takes me.
In his confessions, St. Augustine says that during his youth his mother was in constant prayer and tears for him and a Bishop once told her in her worry, “it cannot be that the son of these tears should perish”.