I have lived in edmonton for 5 years now. Five years in which I have changed and formed and stretched and grown so much so it is difficult to relate to the person I was 5 years ago, but I love my life here. I love who I am, how I live, the friends I've chosen, the life I've created. But sometimes I find it terribly difficult to continue in this life I've begun. I woke up to rain this morning and had the day off. I have a busy weekend ahead of me...friend's parties and birthdays and concerts and I thrive on such a social weekend. It was then I called home and found out that two of my sisters and their kids are heading out to my parents' farm for the weekend to celebrate my nephew's birthday. I wanted to be there so bad, it physically hurt. Sometimes I miss my family and my life with them so much I can hardly continue in my life up here. But I know that, if I were to go down to the farm on such a busy weekend for me up here with my friends, I know that though I would love being with my family, I would miss out on parts of my life up here. So once again I find myself torn between two worlds. The world I've made for myself and the world that will always be my home.
Cait once told me that I have the gift of being discontent, and I think thats a very interesting and diplomatic but I fear this tendency to live in dichotomy will follow me the rest of my life.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Hey Bri:
I know exactly how you feel, and it affects me too, even though I have been "rooted" in Edmonton for 30 years (how did that happen, I wonder?) My mother once told me that "whatever you choose, you lose" meaning that you can't lead two lives (she was referring to career and family.) With some sacrifices, I managed both. But "sacrifices" is the key word. You can decide to be in many places--just not at the same time. I am now working on the neglected travel/adventure part of my life, but I had to leave the past to do it. You CAN have it all-just not all at once, I guess. Heart.
Post a Comment