Wednesday, October 25, 2006

so I cry and I pray and I beg...

There is something profound about loving your work. If I am known for nothing else in life, I hope that I known for loving what I did, because loving what you do transforms your entire world. And though the old mantra that “it is what you make it” does ring true, it only goes so far. If you were in the least exciting place in the world, but you loved what you were doing there, no one could convince you that you lived in the least exciting place in the world. And the opposite is true as well. If you were in a paradise but despised your work, the life you live there would be tainted. Some people might stop me now and argue that no one can be entirely happy in their work every day, and that is true. For as much as I love literature, there were days I felt I could throw Donne out the window in frustration, never look back and be content in my ignorance. But when you have something you love, each frustration just increases your love for it once you’re through to the other side.
I love capturing life through photos. There is something beautiful about that moment when I’m behind the lens and the shot comes together just as I imagined it would. There is also something completely fulfilling in writing, for me. Composing language to say exactly what I want it to in the particular way I want it said. And the two are not so dissimilar as it may first appear. The perfect composition of words both conjures and captures visual images and photography does the reverse for me…an image that speaks/screams/whispers its story to you through a language that your mind translates into words. I realize now that I have once again digressed and have become deliberately obfuscating. So I will let it rest. And for those of you who’ve read this far…Dr. Hales made me look up obfuscate to find out its meaning, and I as well will give you no short cut…do it, it will be worth it.

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