tryin' to throw your arms around the world

November 12th,

I felt an entire range of emotions today and for a variety of reasons…

Elation at the thought of finally going to Jamalpur and the villages
Devastation at the death of my soul (aka at having to return to Dhaka)
Anger at my supervisor’s decision
Frustration with the government of this country
Uncomfortable juxtaposition with Leema, trying to act polite and nice when I’m really angry and frustrated
Resignation to: the unreliability of the Bangladeshi government, not going to Jamalpur, being stuck here.
But most of all, I am feeling a sense of restless waiting, stuck in a kind of purgatory. Not able to go out because I don’t know when the car will come to take me back and so confined indoors with only my prison-like barred balcony to provide any break from the monotony of my own mind. I do have C.S. Lewis’ “Mere Christianity”, but I promptly closed it after he said “I am sure God keeps no one waiting unless he sees that it is good for him to wait”.